She knows who she is and what she wants out of life. They command — never demand — attention, and they do it with mesmerizing grace and style. If you were a fly on the wall for our girls' nights, our one-on-one conversations, you would immediately lose all intimidation. The same girl you're too afraid to talk to starts each morning with a kitchen dance party.
The same woman you find intimidating is also really good at making the same raunchy jokes as you are. She's clumsy and messy, can “man” a BBQ, yells at the TV for her team, enjoys downtime on the couch and eating junk food. Just her, the dog, a cup of coffee and the Top 40 getting down with her wet hair and makeup-free face.
The woman who has heard it once has likely heard it a thousand times.
To counter this annoying statement, she likely has awesome friends and family who remind her, “You don't want a man who isn't confident enough to take you off the market,” or as Dad always tells me, “You will work best with a man who thinks you're the best thing since sliced bread.
You love them so much that you proudly tell her story for her; you tell it to your friends, family, colleagues and yourself in the mirror. If you like what's in front of you, take it off the market.It can, and the same woman who intimidates you is likely intimidated by you, and for all the same reasons. I can only speak for myself here, but I imagine it applies to others, too. Independent would love nothing more than a man who can give my independence a rest at times and take the lead.So now, the two of you are just wasting time and talent. It's also important that I differentiate between “slightly intimidating” and forced change (abuse). I think this realization comes with age, but after years of fighting to prove myself professionally, spending my days making decisions from the hip and being the office Morale Officer, there is something incredibly relaxing and enjoyable about being able to turn down the volume on my independence.We've been talking for a while, maybe even tried the dating thing, and for whatever reason, you feel the need to inform me (as if I didn't already know) that I'm intimidating.I applaud your honesty, but why are you telling me this?Do you feel better after getting this off your chest, as if we are in a first interview and you need to shake your nerves by being brutally honest?Newsflash: This is not an interview and even if it were, you would never tell the person interviewing you that he or she is “intimidating."I'd rather you just tell me you're nervous because it's endearing.Don't settle because it won't work.”My point is, you're already winning if you're stepping up to bat.Women who intimidate you still have feelings and fairytale dreams; they just don't show all their cards on the first (or seventh) play.If you find a prospect who provides this, grab ahold and never let go. You want someone who inspires you with her loving, well-intentioned actions — not words or demands. Intimidation builds her own career, makes her own money, pays for her own way and carries her own bags. It would be great to come home to someone who can take the lead; someone I trust can make plans, carry some weight and let me be vulnerable. Albeit biased, I have some of the most amazing female friends; many of whom have been victim to the “You're intimidating” accusation. These same women are stunningly beautiful, many tall and still rocking high heels because they are confident and not sorry for being 6 feet tall. We are intimidating because we grabbed life by the horns and made it the best damn ride possible, and we're still holding on.She has her own friends, hobbies, motivation and passions. To him, I promise to provide the same broad shoulders. The woman you find intimidating wants you and all that you have to offer. They are successful, charismatic, articulate, cultured, hilarious, athletic, compassionate and independent. They crush careers by day and attend dinner parties by night. Sure, we might be a gaggle of intimidation when we take the downtown night by storm, but we are also an SNL skit waiting to be written when we're together.