You see them, even their physical appearance, differently now. Ask sixty-year-old love birds if they’re still “physically attracted” to each other.Some of them are more attracted to each other than ever, and it’s because they’re gaining weight, losing their hair, or having more trouble getting around. The wrinkles are the years of faithfulness and bliss spent together.How significant should physical attraction be in the pursuit of marriage?Or, what role, if any, should physical appearance play in Christian dating? I would say, “No.” Or at least, “Not yet.” Given the common assumptions and practices in our society today, including the church, I do not believe a man (or woman) should begin a dating relationship with someone to whom they are not physically attracted.The inside of a house — space, appliances, interior design — can cover a multitude of sins outside.
hot right now can lose all of his or her appeal overnight, literally in one headline.
The heartthrob guy beats his girlfriend, or the magazine-cover woman sleeps with three more guys.
It’s suddenly harder to even look at pictures of them anymore. You see the same pictures differently now — same hair, same eyes, same figure — all suddenly unappealing, unattractive. God has wired us to appreciate beauty in his design — to find men (for women) or women (for men) physically appealing — and that is a real and important element in our pursuit of marriage, and eventually in our flourishing within the covenant.
Guys have come to me over the years asking about this. If he admires other things about her, I’m all for him her and getting to know her in safe, unambiguous, non-flirtatious ways (probably in groups).
Usually he respects or admires a godly young woman (or, maybe more often, other people in his life think he admire her more), and yet he’s not physically attracted to her. But I believe physical attraction, at least in the vast majority of cases, is one critical piece in discerning whether to date or marry someone.