Nothing lasts forever, and what’s love, but a secondhand emotion?
I’ve since let go of the idea that sex equates to love, that I would need anybody to fulfill anything for me, and that love can fit in a box or be summed up by an ’80s pop song. There is a lot of research stating that humans were not always predisposed to monogamy.
I’ve learned that there are so many different kinds of love, that feelings are not mutually exclusive, and the way that I feel about one person has nothing to do with the way that I feel about someone else.
I’ve been able to break away from the idealistic love that has been hammered into me for as long as I can remember.
A study entitled “Choices: Perspectives of Younger Gay Men on Monogamy, Non-monogamy and Marriage,” was posted on Queerty has showed that 90% of the gay men surveyed were seeking monogamy.
It doesn’t need all of my attention and it doesn’t mean things have to happen “now or never.” I’ve learned that love doesn’t have to have a destination, that I can love without expectation.
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I’m a hopeless romantic, but in the last six months, I’ve had a drastic shift in what love means to me.
Like most products of divorce, my feelings on marriage and long-term commitment have always been complicated.
Mix that with being gay and growing up in a society where a traditional life trajectory (marriage and babies) isn’t as straight forward and it’s pretty easy to break out of a social convention like monogamy.