However I often find myself criticizing successful black men who seem to only date white women.
I know it seems quite a hypocritical position to take (pot calling the kettle black!
One of the experts framed it perfectly, however, when she pointed out that we ought to ask ALL prospective parents "what about the children? As we all know, same-race parents don't necessarily insure that a child will have a happy or secure childhood.) - but I wonder if those relationships - on the meta-level - do not perpetuate some of the racialized myths your book seems to discredit. The white wife as the ultimate marker of achieving success?With black educated women outpacing black men 3 to 1, what leads black men to choose a white woman over a black woman? I often struggle to articulate this critique, when I think on a micro-level it is hard to criticize anyone's relationship - just as those who stand jeering on the sidelines of interracial relationships miss what is special there.But I also think there is something to be said about the way in which gender, stereotypes and our nation's history (where black boys were lynched for looking at white women) has impacted the makeup of black/white relationships. There were actually quite a few women I interviewed for Don't Bring Home A White Boy who expressed your exact sentiments: they resented black men with white wives.I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic and thank you for sharing your work! However, for most of them, once they were in a serious relationship of their own, they found themselves to be far less concerned with what black men were doing.Karyn Folan: I have found that the longer my husband and I are together, the less I notice things like this.In fact, now when we're out with our family and someone stares, I start looking to see if a button has popped off my blouse, or if one the girls' noses needs wiping! It takes me a minute to remember why they might be staring.I also think, however, that the black community RELIES on black women.And there's a perception that there will be real problems if too many black women date or marry outside of it.Submit your questions and comments before or during the discussion.Read more: Single black women being urged to date outside race ____________________ Karyn Folan: Thanks to all of you who have taken the time post questions and comments.