Spent the last 18 months trying to fix the broken marriage with the same results your having. As far as I can tell there isn't an OM involved, which makes this even more difficult. I think it would keep your conscious clear, and allow you to work on the emotional aspects you need to fix before you start dating someone else. Fix me, reflect, and keep myself true to my Christian beliefs. I am a big believer in the therapeutic value of a separation to strengthen the marriage if it's done in the right way for the right reasons, and if there are clear agreements from the start.
Twenty one yrs married , 3 kids , honest , financially successful ,wife gave the " I love you but ..." about 18 months ago , informed me of an EA / PA ."What happened after the seminar could fill a book!We confessed the ways we had failed one another and sought forgiveness."I knew in my heart that divorce was not what God wanted …but deep down, I was hoping he (her husband) would leave," confessed Lisa."Separation can lead to an absolutely wonderful marriage if we are willing to deal with the problems that led to the separation." Chapman suggests treating the trauma of separation with a 9-1-1 approach, "If it were a physical problem, we would put you in intensive care and look after you day and night until you either died or got better.Separation says this marriage is in serious trouble; it needs intensive care." Attending Toward a Growing Marriage seminars led by Chapman is one way to get help.JMHO, Bigdad, but greatly depending upon your state, your locale, whether or not your divorce will be under the guise of "no-fault" or "fault" divorce laws, I wouldn't risk it. Even if you are getting a divorce, does your religion support adultery? From a legal standpoint as well as a moral/religious standpoint, i say wait until you are divorced. I would suggest waiting until the divorce is final.One of the biggeat benefits to doing this is it gives you time to access your part in tge marital breakdown so that any new relationship will not be hampered by mistakes of the past. Many people make rhis mistake only to find the past repeating itself. I worked too hard, good provider, emotionally absent, and drove our marriage into the ground. Unfortuneately, I didn't really understand what happened until it was too late. If she has cheated, you could file the divorce to speed things up if she won't reconcile.Guidelines for an Enhancement Separation Here are some thoughts on how to go about creating your own Enhancement Separation.The average length of an Enhancement Separation is about six months, but some couples have enjoyed it so much, they continue it indefinitely.